Don't Despair

In previous Khutbahs I mentioned how we should be proactive and seek to make things happen rather than sit back and wait for God to do it for us - because that will never happen. As the Quran says: “God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves,”  and in the well known hadith about the man who wasn't going to secure his camel to a post, but instead rely on God, the prophet told him: "Tie your camel first, then rely on God."

At the same time the Qur'an also says God has decreed all things. Everything has been predestined.

This is one of the paradoxes of religion. That there is both freewill and predestination even though they seem contradictory.

However if we ignore for the moment the philosophical problem with these two things, we see that in practical terms in our daily lives having the ability to accept both, makes life easier to deal with and bear. For religion is not simply an intellectual exercise but a practical aid in our lives and it needs to be flexible and able to offer solutions, help and comfort in a multitude of differing and conflicting situations..

Some situations require a bold, dynamic and proactive approach. While some situations may require that we don't fret over that which is beyond out control or that have already happened. In this case we must simply accept our fate and trust in God's wisdom. In fact in many situations both approaches are necessary. We must accept what has happened as the decree and wisdom of God while seeking to do something to change it. In every situation our faith should offer us comfort and support and help us cope with life's challenges.

For example when something goes wrong we should both seek to find out why and rectify it for the future, while at the same time we should accept it was fated to happen and trust that there is a lesson and wisdom behind it. The latter response helps us to stop crying over spilt milk. It stops us from feeling depressed, disheartened and lose hope. If we see misfortunes and adversity as randomly cruel, bereft of rhyme nor reason, it can make us feel overwhelmed, crushed and lose motivation to go on, but when we see it as part of a greater plan, that it is a timely gift on a road that leads to an ultimate good - rather than meaningless, cruel and capricious - then we feel stronger and more able to bear hardships and thus overcome them. As the great Sufi poet JalaluDeen al-Rumi said: “Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy.”

We should not wring our hands in despair and reproach ourselves - nor reproach others. We should not point fingers and apportion blame. We should not drop our heads repeating "If only…" or "What if…"  But rather comfort ourselves with: "That which has happened was meant to happen and is ultimately for the best even if we can't see it now." The wisdom of it may escape us at the time - and indeed even after much time, but a person of faith should always trust that it is for some good and benefit.

For God never tasks a soul beyond that which it can bear لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها - That which does not kill us will make us stronger. Things are never hopeless - and we must never despair. God is always with us. As the Quran says he is "Closer to us than our jugular vein" and as the hadith says "He loves us more than a mother loves her child."

Do not brood and ruminate over accidents or mistakes, but rather recognise there is some hidden gift in it for you. Seek ways to prevent it in the future. If it is an obstacle in the way and you cannot move it, then find a way around it or think about a different route. Apply your mind and will power calmly and confidently while trusting in God that there is something good in it. Don't dwell on the past, but look optimistically at the future.

Human beings have a tendency to assign agency and motives to things and to take things personally. As if God is punishing us or angry with us. We ask 'Why would God cruelly kick us when we are down. We must be bad, or maybe he just doesn't care about us.' But of course this is our human petty-mindedness and short-sightedness. It reminds me of story of Joha when he was suffering troubles on every front. His business was losing money. His marriage was on the rocks. He had lost all his friends and was suffering illness and aches all over. So as he walked along the road all alone, he looked up at the skies and began to make Du'a, saying: "Oh God please help me, please solve these problems, they are beyond me and you are the best of helpers and you always answer the prayer of one who calls on you." As he looked up making Du'a he didn't see a rock and tripped falling flat on his face chipping a tooth and hitting his nose so it bled. He looked back up at the skies and said: "You only had to say no - you didn't have to push me!"

God is not angry, uncaring, callous or small-minded. It is we humans are small-minded and short-sighted. This is why we must always take a step back and look at the greater picture. Have faith there is a wisdom in everything and things will be alright in the end. Allow yourself a little moan if you like, but don't continue to mope around and think the world is against you as it will not lift you out of your negative mood. Instead brush yourself down, get up and get on with things with a smile.

Many times in life we come across a problem and think it is the hardest thing we've ever faced and if only it was solved then life would be easy ever after. Then we discover we were wrong on both accounts - it was not the hardest thing we faced and life it was not easy ever after. But with hardship comes ease and with ease comes hardship  إن مع العسر يسرا إن مع العسر يسرا - Life contains both the joy and success as well as heart-ache and defeat. Both impostors must be treated the same as in the famous poem by Rudyard Kipling. This is the way God created life. This is the reality of the human journey and facing it with faith and dignity is a powerful way of coping.

When faced with hardship, it’s easy to complain and blame others. To feel powerless, sad and depressed. To moan: “Why does this always happening to me!” or “What did I do to deserve this”. Instead we should take a step back and think about it from a higher level. Take a step back from the worries, anxieties and problems,

Remember that God does not expect you to be perfect. He did not make you perfect. Nor does he blame you for the results of what you do, but only your intentions. As Mahatma Gandhi put it - "Nothing you do matters, but it matters that you do it." It is your effort, intention and sincerity that matters as the hadith of the prophet said: "Actions are judged by their intentions," ( إنما الأعمال بالنيات ) Success and failure is in God's hand and he has his wisdom that we cannot see. It is what you do - not what you achieve or fail to achieve, that matters. As the Qur'an says: “Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.” “He that is righteous and patient,- never will God let his reward to be lost.” "Never despair of the mercy of God." “Never give up hope of God’s Mercy. Certainly, no one despairs of God’s Mercy, except the people who don't believe.”

The prophet said: “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When God loves a people He tests them."

Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation.”  

The prophet also said: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are always good… If something good happens to him, he is thankful & is rewarded. If something bad happens to him, he is patient & is rewarded.” 

The Qur'an says: “Give glad tidings to the patient. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to God we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. They are those who are blessed and will be forgiven by their Lord, and they are those who receive His Mercy.”

The prophet said "Smile for it is a charity/good deed." Abdullah bin Al-Haarith said, “I didn’t see anyone who smiled more than the prophet of God"